For your viewing pleasure, I present some pictures from my China-crossing trip. Alas they are not in order, but I shall provide witty captions.

High school seniors in Hong Kong. They interviewed my in startlingly good English about Hong Kong's air pollution, to which I generally replied, "uhhh."

Sunset in Gui Lin, you can see a glimpse of the odd hills. They're everywhere, and really are beautiful, but I have no idea how they happened. As with most things, probably "carved by tiny glaciers millions of years ago."

Modern Junk. Ok, the ship is a Junk (pronounced yoonk) against the background of a modern Hong Kong. The city is truly remarkable, absolutely squeezed into the foot of a mountain. It appears to be one huge interconnected shopping mall in some ways, with signs warning everywhere, "smoke and be fined 5000 HK Dollars." No wonder it's clean.

You want Hong Kong's antidote? I present The First Normal School, the stomping grounds of Mao Ze Deng. Many Chinese landmarks are rebuilt (having either fallen down or been burned down by zealous Red Guards). Amazingly, this rebuilt school operates normally today, which would explain the eruption when I almost wondered into the female students' dormitory. Mao would not approve.

Last (actually my first destination) is Lu Shan, site of the Lu Shan conference. Now site of the worst place I have ever visited in China. I did escape with one nice picture, I suppose.

Si Chuan food is famous for being spicy. Unfortunately the little known truth is that Hunanese food could make an seasoned sichuanese veteran cry. I recently learned this truth.

Hunanese food is prepared in different ways, depending on the quality of the restaurant. If it is your standard family joint, before serving each dish is sniffed by the house grandma. If at least one of her nose hairs is singed, the dish is declared fit. However at the five star restaurants, a much more advanced method is used. Imported chefs from Mexico and France are both feed two mouthfuls. If either the Mexican blinks or the Frenchmen cries, the dish is a success. Bonus points if the Frenchmen attempts to surrender.

The food having driven me out of Hunan, I arrived in Gui Lin last night. This morning I went in search of a bike to rent. Fortunately I ran into a friendly local that lead me to a push cart stand with a sign, "We Rent The Bike." Delighted to have rented the only bike in all of Gui Lin, I headed off to see some mind warping scenery. Gui Lin is famous for these odd hills that seem to be blasted up out of the ground.

In route I managed to use the only bike in Gui Lin to run over probably the only thumbtack in Gui Lin. Being a genius, I looked at the silvery thing in my tire and promptly pulled it out. Poof--no air! I then got to walk to the only bike shop in about 5 miles, but all in all it was still a good day. I find that traveling with myself is like buying a bond. You know that nothing is going to go wrong, but probably not the return of traveling with friends either.

Returning to my regularly scheduled, highly polished broadcasts, I am on vacation. Which means I have infinitely more potential to land in ridiculous situations than usual. So far I have visited Lu Shan, the site where Mao strung Peng De Huai out to dry.

While Lu Shan is no longer a communist party hot spot, it can claim two superlatives: world's biggest tourist trap and world's most advanced cross walk signs. The tourist trap is run by the entire city and is specifically designed to skewer everyone. Are you an elderly Chinese and a big Mao fan? Take pictures of yourself sitting in the director's chair. Do you like picturesque landscapes? Buy the obscenely expensive 180 kuai entrance ticket (wait, everyone does that), hike down a mountain and then be forced to take a cable car up or die. Are you an ignorant foreigner? Have your two locals give you "the Tour" and have them lock your stuff in the trunk of their car. Then argue about the ever increasing price and have them ask, "where is your stuff again?"

The cross signs, though, are exciting. Oh yes, the little green man actually walks. And then walks faster, breaks stride, and finally becomes a little green blur. The light then turns red, implying imminent death (probable) if you weren't smart enough to follow the man's example.

On to Gui Lin tomorrow!

I am going to do something drastic, bordering on dumb. I am going

to tell the truth.

When I got to this country 227 days ago, I hated everything about this country and my life. My Chinese level needed a finely tuned scientific instrument to measure. All of my friends were in Chicago and I came alone. The school in Hangzhou that I attend is run by Middlebury and each semester they transport a clique of students to China and back. The language pledge prevented me from really communicating with anyone.

In addition to my massive dysfunction, I was cursed with a scholarship that stipulates a full year abroad. So while all the other Americans counted down the weeks until they got out of China on one hand, I counted the months on two. I visited the office in tears more than once, thinking of any scheme to get me out.

But China slowly broke me, or perhaps I learned to bend China back. My Chinese took a flying leap, and as I leaped my friends began to shift too. Very slowly at first. I made friends with some girls that work at a tea shop. I started to spend sometime with the guys in the dorm. After my roommate's girlfriend moved to Shanghai (to his hysterics), we became friends and I met people at some school events, dances and performances.

Then all of the Americans, including myself, went home. And I'll never see them again, but I was back in China a few weeks later. I continued to learn to make friends in Beijing and then came to Hangzhou armed with two weapons: an internship and old friends. Throw in acceptable Chinese for good measure. At the same time, my contact with my American friends grew less and less. Not because they're not good friends, but simply the distance. Too hard to cross.

China recently dealt me the blow that I feared the most: it cost me my relationship with Alice. I had feared this for so long. Speaking honestly, after I got passed the culture shock the reason that I fought against China so much is that I saw it taking it from me. And while it certainly has hurt, I have also found that I don't have to fight this country anymore.

China has taken everything except my family from me (which it won't ever), but I don't even mind any more.

It's ok.

The resident director here told me that students generally don't make many real Chinese friends. And they don't--they eat together, study together and go out together. And while they are "living in China" what they're doing is skimming over the top, getting the cream off the milk.

Well I say the hell with that. China started as the most bitter pill I have ever swallowed. But the medicine works. I am more patient than I've ever been, more relaxed than I knew I could be. Life moves much more slowly here. And by far the best part for me is that I have entered into it. My friends are Chinese. The activities I participate in are Chinese. I am going to my friend's birthday party week after next. I'm going camping with my co-workers.

In short, I've made my nitch, and while my nitch absolutely involves listening to Twins games broadcast from around the world, most of my nitch is Chinese. And that is

Amazing.

I have an inordinate amount of peasant worker friends, most of them from HeNan. This perhaps requires an explanation. You probably know that Americans say, "it's not what you know, it's who." Well in China that is true, but could be amended to, "who you know you will know more and more of until you are squished under a pile of Chinese people." Perhaps I have taken liberty with the translation, but you're just going to have to trust me. After all, who's been in China way too long for their own good--you, or me?

This is brought on by my recent weekend. I had made plans to eat the elusive Green Tea Ice Cream with my friend from teashop. Well, I should have known better, but she of course invited her friend 2 who took us to her little sister's shop. Friend 2 also invited friend 3 and friend 3 invited her guy friends to come. And also brought her older sister, who is actually her brother's girlfriend. Clear so far? So by the end of the night, a cone of ice cream had turned into about 5 more friends, all from HeNan. And the world spins on.

In other news, this blog has had almost 1000 unique visits. Exciting! Nobody has mailed me New York style cheesecake yet, but I am still hoping.

It has recently come to my attention that my best friend from Beijing, Gao Rui Xia (高瑞霞), has not appeared on my blog. Never one to ignore my heinous errors, here in all the grandeur of Beijing University is the two of us. On skates, no less. She and her boyfriend treated me to my first taste of Beijing Roast Duck (which is just as delicious as advertised) and we have even been known to climb The Great Wall of China together. This summer she has agreed to help give my family a tour of Beijing (surprise, family members!). So no more heinous errors for me!

In other news, I have been assiduously planning my spring break trip: go South. So while I do not know exactly where I am going, I am sure it will be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Especially considering monkeys make a big mess.

I don't need to go to China to learn about myself. I can just take the flipping Briggs-Myers personality test and have myself described perfectly:

does not like being alone, thinks life has purpose/meaning, organized, values organized religion, outgoing, social, does not like strange people/things - likely intolerant of differences, open, easy to read, dislikes science fiction, values relationships and families over intellectual pursuits, group oriented, follows the rules, affectionate, planner, regular, orderly, clean, finisher, religious, consults others before acting, content, positive, loves getting massages, complimentary, dutiful, loving, considerate, altruistic

Well it did make one mistake: I like Star Wars. Above is a panda trashcan.