One of my problems,

I think, is that I tend to see things in extremes, especially decisions.  I often feel that I must choose between moving back to Minnesota, settling down, never leaving the state again or living my whole life abroad, some sort of self-selected participant in an odd, wandering journey, destined to become one of those expats who is gone so long that he can no longer come home.

Of course, neither one of those choices is true.  China has been here for at least 3000 years; I doubt it's leaving.  Minnesota does not have an electric fence around its perimeter; it would allow me to come and go.

But it's tough to remind myself that there is a sliding scale, that it's possible to have a life that exists, if somewhat tenuously, in two countries.  And so my decision making becomes somewhat paralyzed.  I see law school not as an opportunity that would allow me more choices in China and America, but rather as an enormous monstrosity that wants to rip me out of my life and remake it in its own image.  An image that I imagine to be an over-worked divorced man who works ever-longer hours because he has no family anyway.  You can see why I hesitate.

One thing I try to remind myself is that life keeps changing all the time.  There is never going to be one permanent "hunk of cheese" that doesn't move.  And I can either proactively attempt to find new and possibly better sources of cheese, or I can go find them when I run out of food.

It's just that historically, I've always run out of food (read: graduated) before I left, and so had no choice but to move on.

--
Meilian Consulting
http://meilian.intuitwebsites.com

Scintillating.

Recently I have come under fire for not providing a scintillating enough read on this blog.  I apologize.  I will do my best to revive some of the interest here.  It just seems that content does not present itself as readily to me as in the past.  Though that is not true.  Last night I attended a "patriotic show" for the Mid Autumn Festival, and lyrics in the songs included, "Glory!  Row after row of iron smelters, "Our ancestors walked out of the forest," "Between white skin and black skin there is yellow skin.  Proud to be Chinese!" and finally, "When our youth defeat Europe, China defeats Europe."  (all of those are literal translations) I am now approaching a level of fluency in the language where I am aware of what's happening in almost any situation, and it's not really ideal for attending patriotic floor shows.  You get sick to your stomach.

Perhaps I have been here so long that I have stopped seeing novelty around me.  This is my fourth year abroad in the last five.  When you've seen babies going to the bathroom out the car window an uncountable number of times, it loses a lot of its newsworthiness. 

Another aspect is that what is left to share is more of my private life.  My struggles with choosing a career, accepting that I'm not meant to be an investment banker/doctor/engineer, etc.  Often times I myself don't terribly love reading about the mess in other people's lives.  Why would they want to read about it mine?  And beyond that, why would I want to admit setbacks and challenges in such a public space?  Why make myself vulnerable when it is increasingly clear to me that competition in the world is brutal, vicious and impolite?  And I am a very polite person, so sometimes the game almost seems unfair.

But the good news here is that I am extremely happy with my life right now.  As happy as I've ever been with it, at least in the last 5 years.  And that's a blessing.  And it's also the result of making the right choice on tough decisions and temptations.  Not to curse my next move.

So yes, a blog update for you.  I hope it was scintillating.

--
Meilian Consulting
http://meilian.intuitwebsites.com

Student Feedback

"Also, you know, sometimes, the jokes you told are not fun at all. Maybe improving the ability in telling jokes is also very necessary for you."

My Next Cellphone Will Have a Better Camera

But since I don't have any money for nonsense like upgrading my cellphone, we are going to stick with what we've got.  Some more snapshots from my life here.  A little girl getting her shoe shined, one of my friends from Hangzhou who is due to have a baby in mid May, heavy fog covering the mountain (I kid you not, my first thought was that they had taken away the mountain in the middle of the night), and preparing for the school's 60th anniversary.

The 60th anniversary is coming soon, and we are pulling out all the stops. The English department thought it would be a good idea to sacrifice all my dignity by having me do a stand-up comedy routine (xiang sheng) with another teacher from the department.  We will be marching into infamy on Monday night.  Perhaps it is better than the Edelweiss song I sang last year, but if so, it is not by much.  Assuming I survive, I will report back.

Cherry Blossoms Epic

Last year I missed the cherry blossoms on Southern Mountain.  Not this year, I swore to myself.  And as such, I set out on what amounted to a pilgrimage of almost epic proportions. 

Chongqing has 16 million people living in the city.  The cherry blossoms bloom for about 2 weeks.  There is one road up the mountain and one road down.  You can begin to imagine the chaos on the mountain top.  My taxi driver drove like man possessed.  Perhaps the scarring on his hand/arm should have warned me about his previous driving successes.  When my Chinese friend told him to slow down, he replied, "If the foreigner weren't here, I wouldn't be so reserved."

The park was overrun with brides and grooms taking wedding pictures.  Everywhere I looked, there they were.  Sitting on benches, leaning against trees, making goo-goo eyes at each other.  The photographers give careful instructions, "head to the left, good, yes, now look more blissful!"

You can see the line for the bus in one of the pictures-- and that's not the whole line.  When I finally did make it back to my apartment, I lay down on my bed and passed out. The blossoms were beautiful though, and I am thankful I went.

Broadcasting Nonsense Worldwide (Except China, where I'm blocked)

Ice Skating

Ever year I take a group of students (okay, my favorite class) ice skating in downtown.  It's fun.  None of us go into the heart of Chongqing very often, and skating away an evening is a novel way to spend it.  Unfortunately, it's also dangerous.  I had a ten percent casualty rate this year (2 of 20), and if it were the United States I would probably need waiver forms.  Most of the students have never skated before and wipeouts are inevitable.  Unfortunately one girl wiped out her arm and another her tailbone.  I feel terrible about it (the arm was sprained, the tailbone broken).  I am not sure that I'll be able to go next year.

Failure

I have been failing a lot recently, which is quite honestly not something I am very well prepared to handle.  Not only did my LSAT basically skid out on the rocks, but I also did not even get an interview for basically a dream job.  The dream job is tougher to stomach, because I thought all my intangibles were so irresistible.  The only good news on the LSAT is that I won't have to take it again.  But the fact that I know I absolutely blew the games section hurts.  Hopefully my intangibles attract law schools more than hiring managers.

Sports Day

Every year, to demonstrate our physical fitness and exuberance, we have sports day.  All schools in China do.  We didn't have a track last year, so our day was pathetic, but this year we do.  I signed up to run 800 meters in the teacher's category, figuring I could probably smite the 60 year old professors.  Then I stupidly mentioned the race to my neighbor, who is a fitness freak who swims 3 miles a day.  His response: "This is awesome.  I am going to beat you!"  My mental response: "I hope you die."  I don't even want to race anymore, which is somewhat childish.

Tim Tebow

I want him to succeed.  And I want the Vikings to draft him.  It's too bad I am not Tim Tebow.

Above, the survivors of the ice skating trip

Forget Culture Shock

Let's talk about Chongqing Shock.  It's far more serious, recurrent, and virtually without cure.  And certainly un-operable.  In the 5 weeks since I've been gone, here is a brief list of the major changes:

• Entire school paved with new asphalt
• Bank of China now a fruit stand
• Huge new building growing out of the ground
• Enormous 50 ft high concrete wall covered with granite calligraphy
• Delicious restaurant is gone
• China Mobile shop converted in Fujian noodle shop (sells pig hearts, brains)
• building outside my school knocked down

That about sums it up.  In the pictures above you can see the fruit stand, building, and a comparison on the view from my porch on a cloudy day and later that day.  In all seriousness, Chongqing can be a tough place to live sometimes.  Thankfully, I have a good friends.  And enough money to go visit Hangzhou once in a while, which has to just about be God's gift to humanity.

In other news, I am starting my own translation company, Blue Line Translation.  Please seek me for all your copious Chinese/English translation needs!

Happy New Year

One of China's best idea's is to put lights up all over everything and everywhere at the NewYear and Christmas time.  These are photos taken by one of my students of our campus here