Double Killing. Think I am in trouble? Think again, because now all that means is a double play. Yes, it is true, I have found baseball in China and it is better than the Field of Dreams. After searching for 8 months, literally, baseball came and found me at my job. And now ever Friday, Saturday and Sunday I am fabulously occupied with the ZheJiang University Baseball Team.

We are bad. My first time over I was selected to pitch because the team only has 3 pitchers. Two were gone on break and the other had thrown the entire previous day. And working from my constantly morphing delivery, I baffled batting practice with 50 mph fastballs located in the general vicinity of the plate. But hey, only nailing one guy isn't so bad is it? And I did bring the heat to actually break the catchers' mitt. Even Johan Santana doesn't actually break gloves. The mitt might have been from 1869, but I don't think that matters.

Watching the Chinese players arrive was my own personal Sandlot. There's fat ones and tall ones, a couple girls, and one that can't throw the ball in the air. Worm burners, every time. But when Worm Burner isn't working his outfield magic, he's an oncology major, so he should be all right.

In other news, the Chinese and Korean women's soccer national teams are playing in Hangzhou this weekend. And the Chinese team is visiting our university on Sunday, so I might have to go over and see that. But I hope for the Chinese women's team sake, they do not win in a dramatic shootout, which will require the last women to rip her shirt off in excitement. Instead of popularizing the sport like in America, the whole team would probably be banished.

Let's examine this method of celebration--does it make any sense? I have never seen any other women rip her shirt off in excitement, though perhaps this is for the best. "283 pounds? I met this week's weight loss goal, Yes!" Everyone would need therapy after that. But lets constrict the field to athletic celebrations, though weight loss perhaps might bizarrely qualify anyway.

Do baseball players rip off their shirts? "No don't celebrate yet! I still have some more buttons to go..." Or how about football players--nope, they're not allowed to take off their helmets. Perhaps that is why football executes so many jiggle-based celebrations. Basketball? They'd rather celebrate by whomping a fan or two. Ice hockey, I'm going to just say no. So why do soccer players?

Perhaps the first shirt ripping celebration was practiced by the Dutch, where as we all know, anything is legal. Then in an effort to not be out done, Germans had to go ripping too, prompting the entire French squad to develop the "Synchronized Shirt Strip" which is performed while speaking the most beautiful language on earth. I don't know.

Perhaps it is just best to hope for a 0-0 tie, preventing the need for any celebration whatsoever. Might be a relief to everyone, anyway.