Long time, no write. Aside from being true, it's also the result of a family vacation to China. But it's certainly not for a lack of material to select from in my dusty innards. I have thoughts on everything from West meets East (and Easternized West) to why Christian dating books are all garbage to why my mind goes blank when I sit down in front of this thing. So perhaps we'll just go Rumble and Grumble (ala ESPN, but perhaps less interesting).

Family Vacation
Some parts of China certainly shocked my family. Like the ones that weren't built for tourism or shopping malls. But I have to say that they did a good job of coming to a country where they can't communicate and dealing. I've never been somewhere that I couldn't speak, so I'm sure it must be frustrating. Highlights of the trip including my sister (the Panda nut) Emily getting her picture taken with a baby panda and eating a lot of pizza. Perhaps the pizza was my highlight.

It's bleepin hot here. I don't look at the actual temperature because I'd just be sad, but I can tell you that if I had an egg I'd cook it on the black top. If the humidity didn't disintegrate the whole thing first. Family did a pretty good job of dealing here too.

One of the better exchanges on the trip:

*Dad: I'm tired

*Me: Here's some paper, go to the bathroom

*Me to Chinese friends: My dad has to be excused. I send him off.

Mother and Sister: hysterical laughter

Reasons why Christian dating books are gaaar-bahge

1. Where is this author from? Last time I checked, me and any girlfriend I've ever had were from far away places. Prompting the question, how can I ask her father for his impression of me since I've been young?
2. What the heck happens before age 24? Waiting until you're graduated from grad school (seminary, of course), have a high paying job, a house, and a 50 year plan to date would be cool. If it wouldn't mean you're a freak. What should I tell my 13 year old son someday when he tells me he likes a girl? "Well hold on there, sonny, you've still got 12 more years before you ought to think about something like that! Now here's some legoes."
3. Why the pressure? You know what every Christian dating book in history has in common? Nothing on breaking up. Because for God's sake, if you're dating you're going to get married! It's not like you could learn about life and yourself and each other in a healthy way if you dated and, dear God, broke up. These books make Dating some sort of (scary) instant long term committment pact.

In summary, these authors seem to exist in some sort of non-real Christian vacuum universe and would like to apply their utopian physics (perhaps chemistry?) to real life. Here's an idea: write a book applicable to a normal person that emphasizes principles like accountability, openess, growth, and how to evaluate your relationship. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am on this segment.

Sexism in Chinese Airlines (and why it's wonderful)

Chinese airlines have one rule: If you're not beautiful, don't apply. And it has marvellous results: every airline stewardess, steward, bag checker and ticket taker are gorgeous. I choose to look past the gross injustice in forcing perfectly talented stewardess to retire, rejecting good applicants because they're too short and grossly cattering to Chinese businessman. If I wasn't so hot (like sweating writing this) perhaps I'd do something (but probably not).

I'm sure I have more in my thinker, I always do, but I'm done for the day. If you have a brilliant comment about anything, post it or e-mail me it.

Upon completing my final paper, rewriting it, giving my oral presentation, going to work, turning in my final paper and realizing that I had finished my year at Middlebury's China school, the moment I had waited for since September, I felt...

nothing.

Perhaps the thought, "oh" popped into my head, but it's doubtful. Later yesterday night I know realized that I am a senior at Northwestern University which temporarily shocked me, before I returned to a state of vacuousness.

I'm not really sure why things are this way, or why the last 9 months immediately collapsed into a blur and folded into a box, but they did. I feel strangely and utterly detached, almost as if the last 12 months starting in July never happened, and when I go home in August this last year won't have counted.

Interesting Musings

• I have now spent more time in China in the last 15 years than most of my Chinese-American friends... for some, more than all their family members' time combined
  
• I recognize 3000-4000 characters, yet newspapers still give me problems
• it's starting to inch towards 100 degree heat

Summer Plans

• Take my family for a two week tour de force around China, with stops including Beijing, Si Chuan Province, and Hangzhou
• Stay here until august, continuing to work at my internship. I am subletting a bedroom from an art student. She's a girl, but she has promised that I won't have to model for David-esque sculptures. Plus, I had no where else to live.
  
• Travel with the Zhe Da baseball team to Beijing to watch them participate in the whole country competition
  

We should be a movie. One of those fabulous sports movies, where the group of misfits comes together and composes the grittiest, most loveable baseball team ever and wins the Big Game. Except we'd lose, because no matter how gritty we are, sometimes there is no substitute for catching the ball. You can ask our shortstop who had a routine pop up careen into his eye (somehow missed his glove entirely). Or you could ask all of us, who collectively amassed one hit in two games this weekend (but multiple beanings!). Or our pitchers, who aquired an ERA that is almost an unreal number. But, just like in little league, we had fun anyway! Especially me because...

I got to pitch! And basically got to pretend for one day that I was a real starting pitcher, uniform and all. I amassed the following stats:

6 IP (complete game--150 minute time limit)
5-8 Ks (not really sure for a number of reasons)
13 Runs Allowed
4-7 of which were earned

Why such uncertainty? Well it's hard to calculate when about 75% of balls put in play result in fielding errors and maybe 1 of 3 strikeouts is dropped and the batter runs to first base. So when the other team gets 5 outs per inning, it's a bit harder game. But it was wonderful and I enjoyed it a lot, especially because I may never get another chance. Foreigners are not allowed to play, technically, and our only games left are in Beijing in July. And if anywhere follows the rules, it'd be Beijing. But perhaps other teams will be merciful and let me play, just for fun.

For my final piece, I present, with flair, My Biggest Flame Out with a Girl.

The scene is my university's back gate, night time, street vendors making "small eats." Across the way, there is a fancy restaurant, the sort where a pretty girl wearing a qi-pao (traditional Chinese dress) opens the door for you and smiles, cutely. The setting is Zong Ke (me), feeling blue as he recently went through a breakup. The thought process is this: this stinks... hey? why not get the phone number of a girl who wears a qi-pao for a living?" And action.

Zong Ke saunters past the restaurant on his way to the fruit store, and notices the girl smiling at him. Unfazed, he buys fruit and then walks back past her on his way home. Then the thought process strikes! Why not ask her for her phone number? Zong Ke starts pacing on the sidewalk, pondering how stupid this idea is on a scale of 1 to 1802. He finally decides to not ponder and heads for the restaurant, realizing that the girl has seen him pacing for the last 17 minutes. Slightly fazed, Zong Ke heads onward. Upon reaching the door, Qi-Pao girl is talking to someone and Zong Ke has to open his own door, fazing him slightly more. She turns around, smiles, and asks, "would you like a table?" Zongke completely fazed, "Um, not really a table, no." "What would you like then?" At this point my internal pressure overflows, my face turns red and I can no longer speak Chinese, "um, no, no, nothing at all, I gotta go! bye!" Qi-Pao Girl opens the door, and Zong Ke zooms out.

End scene.

Never again can Zong Ke eat at that restaurant!