to tell the truth.
In addition to my massive dysfunction, I was cursed with a scholarship that stipulates a full year abroad. So while all the other Americans counted down the weeks until they got out of China on one hand, I counted the months on two. I visited the office in tears more than once, thinking of any scheme to get me out.
But China slowly broke me, or perhaps I learned to bend China back. My Chinese took a flying leap, and as I leaped my friends began to shift too. Very slowly at first. I made friends with some girls that work at a tea shop. I started to spend sometime with the guys in the dorm. After my roommate's girlfriend moved to Shanghai (to his hysterics), we became friends and I met people at some school events, dances and performances.
Then all of the Americans, including myself, went home. And I'll never see them again, but I was back in China a few weeks later. I continued to learn to make friends in Beijing and then came to Hangzhou armed with two weapons: an internship and old friends. Throw in acceptable Chinese for good measure. At the same time, my contact with my American friends grew less and less. Not because they're not good friends, but simply the distance. Too hard to cross.
China recently dealt me the blow that I feared the most: it cost me my relationship with Alice. I had feared this for so long. Speaking honestly, after I got passed the culture shock the reason that I fought against China so much is that I saw it taking it from me. And while it certainly has hurt, I have also found that I don't have to fight this country anymore.
China has taken everything except my family from me (which it won't ever), but I don't even mind any more.
It's ok.
The resident director here told me that students generally don't make many real Chinese friends. And they don't--they eat together, study together and go out together. And while they are "living in China" what they're doing is skimming over the top, getting the cream off the milk.
Well I say the hell with that. China started as the most bitter pill I have ever swallowed. But the medicine works. I am more patient than I've ever been, more relaxed than I knew I could be. Life moves much more slowly here. And by far the best part for me is that I have entered into it. My friends are Chinese. The activities I participate in are Chinese. I am going to my friend's birthday party week after next. I'm going camping with my co-workers.
In short, I've made my nitch, and while my nitch absolutely involves listening to Twins games broadcast from around the world, most of my nitch is Chinese. And that is
Amazing.
