For my final piece, I present, with flair, My Biggest Flame Out with a Girl.

The scene is my university's back gate, night time, street vendors making "small eats." Across the way, there is a fancy restaurant, the sort where a pretty girl wearing a qi-pao (traditional Chinese dress) opens the door for you and smiles, cutely. The setting is Zong Ke (me), feeling blue as he recently went through a breakup. The thought process is this: this stinks... hey? why not get the phone number of a girl who wears a qi-pao for a living?" And action.

Zong Ke saunters past the restaurant on his way to the fruit store, and notices the girl smiling at him. Unfazed, he buys fruit and then walks back past her on his way home. Then the thought process strikes! Why not ask her for her phone number? Zong Ke starts pacing on the sidewalk, pondering how stupid this idea is on a scale of 1 to 1802. He finally decides to not ponder and heads for the restaurant, realizing that the girl has seen him pacing for the last 17 minutes. Slightly fazed, Zong Ke heads onward. Upon reaching the door, Qi-Pao girl is talking to someone and Zong Ke has to open his own door, fazing him slightly more. She turns around, smiles, and asks, "would you like a table?" Zongke completely fazed, "Um, not really a table, no." "What would you like then?" At this point my internal pressure overflows, my face turns red and I can no longer speak Chinese, "um, no, no, nothing at all, I gotta go! bye!" Qi-Pao Girl opens the door, and Zong Ke zooms out.

End scene.

Never again can Zong Ke eat at that restaurant!