Opening Ceremony Success!

Good News: the evaluators enjoyed the opening ceremony, which probably means that we are all saved from fates worse than death. I did not record my singing act, but above is a piece of traditional opera performance. This particular one tells the story of women relying on each other during the Chinese revolutionary war. The stories they tell are actually very moving, if you don't stop to remind yourself of what actually happened you can get taken in. The women are clicking three pieces of bamboo to make the music.

Basketball
I have been playing a lot of basketball since I got here, mostly to get out and meet some people. Chinese basketball has some special characteristics. Defense is strictly optional. For anyone shooting from beyond 15 feet, it is automatically assumed that he will miss the shot. Even if he has made the last 4 shots from beyond 15 feet, he therefore should miss this one. The result is that the team that starts with the ball generally goes up 3-o before a turnover.

Extra points are earned by making fancy behind the back and no look passes, particularly if you're in the paint (not really, but maybe). People pass the ball over their shoulders, between their legs, and anywhere else that looks cool. And because most people can't shoot (see note above), at any given moment there are 5 or 6 players within 8 feet of the hoop. It's crazy, but it's pretty fun, too.

Common Sense to America
I generally don't write about things like politics. But I feel like these are some thoughts worth airing. Feel free to disagree with me, that's the beauty of America.

As of three weeks ago, I was a legitimately undecided voter. Then the national conventions came. Senator Obama selected a veteran foreign policy expert that fills one of his needs (I couldn't care less about Biden's ability to mouth off). Senator McCain selected Sarah Palin. A freshly minted governor with virtually no experience for three main reasons: she's a woman, she's extremely conservative, she's young. None of those relate to governing a country effectively.

McCain failed to vet this person. Since being announced as his running mate, she has come under fire for supporting wasteful projects in Alaska, pursuing personal political vendettas, hiring her friends, and tax problems. All of this information can be found here. McCain believed, or led us that he believed, that she is a reformer. In reality, Ms. Palin's biggest draws are that she firmly opposes abortion, and the fuzy idea that she can relate to you and me. McCain displayed awful politcal judgement.

Or did he? Since announcing Ms. Palin, McCain has surged in polls to the point that he is in the national lead. Perhaps conservative Americans (and I consider myself one) should think about this: religion and abortion are not the critical issue. A Democrat will not close down the churches. Even if abortion were fully illegal, women would have it done on the streets. Finally, the fact that Pain is a down to earth hockey mom does not make her a good politician.

Being President has nothing to with any of that. We shouldn't elect someone we'd like to have coffee with. Or go to church with. We should elect someone smarter than we are, who sees more clearly than we do, with an actual plan for the future. I would be mortified the day that Sarah Palin became the vice president (God forbid President) because she is none of those things. And America should be mortified as well.

Instead, the McCain- Palin ticket surges onward. Grow up, America.

Harmonious Discord
We are gearing up for our tremendous welcome ceremony. Last night we practiced for three hours (and the director wanted another three, but there was general mutiny). There are girls doing hip hop dance, people dancing in giant inflated olympic mascot suits, a weird foreigner singing a goofy song, and a band. Oh, what a band.

The band is composed as follows: flutes, bamboo flutes, violins, two stringed Chinese things, clarinets, trumpets. a pipa, a guzheng, a circle of organ pipes, Chinese cymbols and a coup de grace: An accordion (with a microphone to amplify it).

The result is an accordion and cymbol heavy symphony with a good deal of plucking, strumming, and organ pipe banging. The girl with the accordion just looks rediculous (and she looks like she knows it, too). I will retrieve photographic evidence if at all possible.

Evaluation Fever
My University, SISU, is preparing for the Central Education Bureau to come and evalutate us. This means a lot of things. It means an army of old men have been weeding, hoeing, and planting all over campus for the last two weeks. It means that our website has a countdown to evaluation. And it means that I am singing the song "Eidelweiss" to about a thousand people during our special "Evaluation Welcome Convocation."

Please note that there was no request to sing, simply the information that I am going to sing. My partner is a girl from the Spanish department, who confuses "Eidelweiss" with "Advice" and "Yes" with "Si," leading to the song "Advice, Advice, you greet me every morning! Clean and white, small and bright..." and me standing on stage thinking that it was the dumbest song I've ever heard.

But come hell or high water, SISU will be ready for the Inspector General Comrade Whoever, no question there.

Teaching
I teach about 300 students, each one of which I see once a week. If they we're not all named Apple, Candy, or Happy I'd never be able to learn their names. I held office hours in my apartment this past Thursday, and I was surprised that nobody came. I found out this morning that the guard to the Foreign Teachers' Housing wouldn't let the students in. He is, perhaps, slightly over zealous.

A view out over the school's sports courts to its administration building
My apartment. If you look carefully, you can see my clothes outside for everyone to observe.

Me in my new apartment at about 1:20 in the morning after arrival. I proceeded to kill about 30 mosquitoes and then go to bed.

The Blog is Back!

I am officially back in China, and this blog will now officially become much more interesting. Just for the record, I am teaching at Sichuan International Studies University in Chongqing. I have about 300 students whom I instruct in various arts: mostly international relations and English. And I am waging full scale war against ants in my apartment. Below are my entries starting from on the plane to Chongqing and moving forward.

On the Plane

I have invented a technology that allows planes to run nearly silently, quite comfortably, for thousands of miles. I am not sure how quickly it will be adopted, but I would expect results will be conclusive. In its most basic form, a large Grizzly Bear is chained to each boarding gate in an airport. The bear then simply eats anyone under the age of fourteen. Sure, there might be en masse infant casualties at the beginning. But parents would more than likely catch on quickly, and within weeks airplanes would be infinitely better places.

In the Airport

My current theory is that living in two cultures is like swimming a race with two different strokes. The first time you change strokes, of course it’s a disaster. You flail around, nearly drown yourself, until you figure it out a little. I am hoping the second time, I can pick up nearly where I left off. I’ve already ordered in a restaurant (something I have traditionally dreaded) and navigated my way to here, Gate 1, in the immaculate terminal.
Sometimes I just feel like people are meant to live in their own country. I’m a hundred times funnier and more comfortable in America. There are things about China I don’t think I’ll ever totally understand. This is generally my reaction when I am stuck 30,000 feet above the earth with nothing to do but wait. I’m not very lonely at the moment, though this is still all new at the moment.
In a deep thought, if you fly 10,000 miles an extra 6 miles above the earth, how many extra miles are you flying, anyway?

After 5 Days

Things are going well, better than I ever really could have hoped or expected. Compared to where I was after 5 days in Hangzhou, there is no comparison. I have a guy friend that I trust and like, an American friend who's a good guy, and two good Chinese girlfriends, who have announced I am their older and younger brother, respectively. I wake up and enjoy my days, I am looking forward to teaching class.