News from the Eastern Front

• The concrete guard tower and pillbox on campus were demolished this week. I am not sure what purpose this structure served, sitting in the middle of campus, but I suppose that it is a nice gesture either way
• I have four more week tests (and five more weeks!) until I get to come home for a while
• I am going to a lecture on senility today... we'll see how much I glean from that one!
• Last weekend we visited the home of Chinese author Lu Xun. Think Mark Twain.

And in the best recent news

I recently got a nice compliment from our Academic Director. She told me that they have had students come a year behind in Chinese and they have had students come alone. But they have never had one both a year behind and alone. She said that everyone has been impressed by my "extremely rapid progress" and how I have "held up emotionally." So that more or less made my day.

Above is me with my pronunciation class partner, Guang Da. I think his English name is Dan. Our dialogues are famous for "creativity." He's probably my best friend here.

You may be excited to know that I had my first really happy day in China. It was Sunday. I went with one of the friends that I made in the Jia Le Fu Tea Shop and we goofed around, ending up in KFC for dinner. And as she told me a joke that I actually understood, I realized that I was happy. And had been all day. And it wasn't because I had received 5 e-mails from home. So it was a remarkable day.

My break trip to China has established a few things beyond a doubt. First and foremost, China has way too many people. You cannot understand the sheer quantities. I went with my Uncle to Yunan Province and visited two towns. Yunan is the equivalent of Montana and the towns were, you know, only about 350,000 residents. It's like plunking Minneapolis in the middle of no where. My second conviction is that the entire country is currently under construction. I would say that it would be impossible to draw a circle with a 3 mile radius anywhere in eastern China and not include a construction project. Roads, buildings, and roads roads roads are constantly being built. My third conviction is that Tiger Leaping Gorge (pictured above) was taken directly from a Lord of the Rings movie. Probably as a tourism stunt by the Chinese government, but I can't be sure. I have created a photo album for you here :)

In China, an Injection cures anything.

I learned this truth on fall break in the tiny tourist town of Li Jiang in Yunan Province. Having eaten some particularly evil food, and having spent an extroadinary night, I stumbled into the little medical clinic and had the following conversation.

*let's hear it
*i ate my stomach wrong...I feel terrible
*did you throw up?
*yeah
*did you blah blah blah?
*i think so
*you blah blah blah blah
*what?
*blah blah blah intestine. blah blah injection.
*ok...

So that's how I got my IV treatment, which did actually make me feel a lot better, but I'm still in favor of going to the doctor in America. Or at least until my medical vocab has a lot less blah blah's in it.

In good news, parts of Yunan have been directly transported from the Lord of the Rings movies. I'll post pictures of Frodo-Michael soon.

With the risk of forfeiting every visitor's interst I've ever had, I present this post. While utterly unrelated to China, I did rediscover something I wrote a few months ago after reading one of those Christian dating books that are only applicable in a traditional New England church community. In my humble opinion, it is mildy humorous.

Before even considering having a crush on someone, a Christian must take a careful self inventory. A crush is a big decision in life. Crushes can lead to dating, marriage, children, death and divorce, listed in order of severity. So I have compiled a basic list of questions to be posed to oneself, before embarking on the journey of such seriousness.

First, are you at least twenty five? Do you have a well paying job? Are you an active church member? Have you ever had a crush before? If so, you should probably be married and ought to stop this program immediately. Have you talked to your pastor about this crush? How long have you considered having a crush on this particular woman? Again, actually having a crush is dangerous. How has the Holy Spirit lead you to Biblical passages that reinforce your sentiments? Do you have a dwelling of your own? How would your grandmother feel about this? If she is dead, how would the oldest and most respected church lady feel about this? Have you known your potential crush for at least ten years? Is your possible crush a devoted scholar of the Epistles of Paul? Are you prepared to talk to this person’s father, in order to obtain permission for this crush?

If you have answered negatively to any of the previous questions, you are clearly not ready for the seriousness of a crushship. But if you were affirmative, then you are clearly ready for your crushship, and all the responsibilities it entails.

Perhaps you found this mildly humorous as well. Perhaps I feel compelled to post this because nothing terribly thrilling has happened recently. Just the usual:

• a middle school introduced herself to me, and I stupidly gave her my cell number. Later I got text messages saying how happy she was to meet me and that her English name is Candy
• ended up on the back of a Shang Hai tourist's electric motor bike, went to West Lake
• saw one of my classmates eat Duck Blood tofu thing

the picture above is West Lake during the Mid Autumn Festival

Let's talk about that famous Chinese productivity. Studying 26 hours a day, striving for constant self betterment, and generally making Americans look lazy all come to mind. Are you ready for this? It's a myth. Or at least from what I have observed myself. But if you come to China for a week, you would probably think that I am crazy--the library is packed, roads are repaired around the clock, people study physics in middle school. But then you live with a Chinese roommate and discover that his behavior can mostly be characterized as lazy. For example, he just let his alarm ring for two minutes because he didn't want to get out of bed.

So what is actually going on? Once again, I argue that it is China's tremendous population pressure. The sheer number of people creates the most ridiculous Prisoners' dilemma (link explains it) that ever was. So when a Chinese person has something to lose, they instantly become extroadinarily dedicated. They'll study all night, operate a jack hammer all night, because they know that if they don't the next person will and will take their opportunity or money. But if their position is relatively secure, ie all of the American students' roommates, they suddenly revert to less than maniacal workers.

As for the packed library, it's worth mentioning that it's a school of 20,000 and the study room holds at most 200. So really, only .5% of the students need to appear studious on any given day!

Life in China is different. I am hoping to be able to capture some every day life and maybe make it a bit more real to you. Because let's face it, my major is China and I basically had no concept of actual life. This is a night bus, running from downtown West Lake out into the city's northern districts. When I first came, I wondered why buses often only had one seat on either side and the middle empty. That's weird, I thought. Alas, it is not weird but rather the only way to put 150 people on a bus. In fact, I think it could be reasonably argued that China's tremendous population pressure is the defining characteristic of their society. But on lighter note, a soft eyed nine year old girl recently used all her courage to ask me if, "America had Mai Dan Lao, too?" All I told her was yes, America has McDonald's too.

中秋节快乐！
Happy Mid Autumn Festival!

I am a shiney new Christmas toy in China, the Buzz Light Year of Zhe Jiang Technology University. But this is not a good thing. Because once my shiney blonde exterior wears off people start pushing my different "Talk" buttons, they realize that my memory chip is faulty. And they quickly tire of,

"I am from America, Infinity and Beyond!"

The phrase, "My major is Chinese government" is only good for a few run thoughs too. And then we quickly discover that there is nothing left to say, my Shiney Newness is gone and our so called friendship is not so everlasting as once was. I believe I am about a triple serving friend.

In other news, I am attempting probably the second dumbest thing of my life (the dumbest being riding a motorcycle down a winding sandy mountain road in Costa Rica with a crazy driving) by waiting in this Internet Bar for the Twins playoff game to start. It starts at 1:00am, so let's hope I am not rediculous enough to finish it!

The Twins clinched a playoff spot today:) You probably don't realize how happy this makes a random 21 year old guy in Asia. But I kind of imagine that I am like the Twins. They started this season terrible, but have stormed back to within 2 games of the best record in baseball. I, too, have started less than fabulously. But like Michael Cuddyer, I am going to find my swing as well. But for now I'll celebrate for my wonderful Twins.

Last weekend The Director declared group travel weekend, and the most important thing you can remember about this post is that I am not exaggerating. I think an annotated schedule will do best:)

• 3:30 pm depart school on bus and drive for hours over something like a road.
• 9:00 pm arrive at Rui An International Hotel, go swimming in outdoor pool
• 10:30 pm I had dinner with the Director
• 12:00 pm do my "pre reading" for my Monday morning 1 on 1 class
• 1:00 am go to sleep
• 5:30 am get wake up call from front desk
• 6:00 am stumble into breakfast, eat a bowl of zhou (cooked rice boiled in water) and a bao zi
• 6:40 am depart for coast
• 7:30 am board a terrible boat
• 7:30-9:00 am watch everyone around me throw up
• 9:30-12:00 swim and eat sea food (I felt terrible about picking a crab! :(
• 1:00 back on the boat
• 3:00 start riding bus up a big mountain
• 4:30 mountain road blocked by avalanche
• 4:30-7:30 hike up mountain road to "stairs to daoist temple"
• 8:00-9:00 literally hike up stairs in pitch dark for an hour. Use camera's for light to see
  
• 9:00 eat Monk vegetable dinner
• 10:00 discover Wen Zhou "party club" (observe here) has also hiked up the mountain and is blasting techno, jumping over their bonfire and roasting meat. Weirdest thing I ever saw.
• 10:30 I went to bed
• 8:00 get up
• 9:00 ride in pick up truck down mountain to avalanche
• 10:00 get in new bus, ride to Scenic Region
  
• 12:00 have lunch, hike into scenic area (more steps!)
• 1:00-3:00 go swimming by beautiful waterfalls in really cold water
• 3:00 nearly fall off of rock cliff thing to doom
• 4:00 ride bus to Wenzhou
• 6:00 have dinner and wander around their main street
• 7:30 get back on bus to drive home
• 1:30 am get home
• 8:00 am have my 1 on 1 Chinese government class.... ack!

The pictures are as follows: our sand castle creation of The Great Wall, fishing boats on the same island, the view from the mountain top,
the stairs we hiked in the dark.

Just a disclaimer: it may appear that my life in China is filled with one fabulous experience after another and this may cause you be filled with senseless jealously. I assure you, you can spend that emotion else where :)

Last weekend our Director decreed that this is "individual travel weekend!" So off I went as an individual to the small town of Wu Xie, a resort really, on the edge of a National Scenic Area. I stayed over Friday night and then hiked into Wu Xie Saturday morning. That's not quite true. I more hiked up and down Wu Xie more than anything else, but it was very beautiful. Living in the city in China you occasionaly wonder if the sun does exist (the locals all just claim it's "cloudy").

But in Wu Xie I found some beautiful country. But I also found some peasants and their villages,

as I hiked all they way out of Wu Xie and literally into the middle of no where. But I guess it ended well, because they told me to hike up to the next village, over the mountain (easier said than done) and then 3 kilometers to the bus stop. They also offered me boiled water with hair floating in it, but I turned it down. Thankfully, a random man from Shanghai had also wandered out there and we ended up making the trek together. He wanted to know what villages were like in the US. And so now, 3 hours before our Director decrees "Group Travel Weekend" where we don't return until Sunday midnight, I would kill for a "no homework weekend." But that's just not the way China is.

I hate the phrase "This is China's most famous _____." Unfortunately, this seems to be my roommate's favorite one. Every where we go, he points at things and says, "Do you have this in America? No? This is China's most famous steamed bun making machine." It makes me want to grab him and take him to Cub Foods and ask, "This is Green Giant. Do you know Green Giant? No? Really? This is America's most famous frozen green bean producer." In other news, I have started studying the Chinese Bamboo Flute. My teacher is this Chinese Yoda combo, and when I went for the first time yesterday all he said was,

"You have come to study the di-zi." I am so bad that when I practice I wear ear plugs.

Yesterday after class I had a terrible headache. We have been in class now for over a week, and I no longer respect 8 am orgo students at NU. I'm sorry, but try 8 am class except it's the professor and you. Then teach the class in Chinese. I am terrified of Mondays and Thursdays. In other news, people say that my Chinese is improving, but all I am is one huge ball of frustration. I suppose "slowly, slowly" as everyone except my teachers believes. This weekend I went to Su Zhou with my roommate. We visited two famous gardens, here is a washed out photo of me in the "Humble Administrator's Garden" and a picture of Su Zhou's main street at night.

List of things I have eaten so far

• sheep meat
• jelly fish (a very small quantity!)
• frog legs
• duck tongue (possibly, not really sure)
• mian tang (water from cooking noodles, awful)
• shrimp (ok, not weird but listable anyway)
• weird looking fish

List of health problems so far

• stomach problems
• stomach problems
• 拉肚子 （result of stomach problems)

Perhaps I need to reign in what my Chinese classmates keep ordering. But yesterday I did voyage to the supermarket, buy a frying pan, buns and meat and make some hamburgers. Best hamburger ever made. Flat out :) In other news, I met my penpal in real life today. Six months ago I just randomly clicked on her xanga, now here I am. What a weird world. She is very friendly.

A lot of people would like to lay claim that they have caused a traffic accident just by standing on the corner. But, few would actually be telling the truth when they say that their

dashing good looks (more likely, dashingly different looks)
caused a wreck.

Fortunately, I can not claim this either, but it was awful darn close. Being a White person in Hangzhou is interesting, because there are very few. So everyone stares at you, some come up and speak English to you, I am yet to have a photo request. My transition to life in China continues. I visited 西湖 （West Lake) the last two days. It is extroadinarily beautiful.

I can tell you it doesn't rain like this in Minnesota. I am pretty sure that the internet cafe is going to wash away. I have arrived after 20 hours total flight time (split up into 3) and am now literally living in a Chinese only environment. I am learning a new definition of privacy too. something possibly interesting things:

• Crossing the street here is like playing the most horrible version of frogger ever, except the prize is your life
• There is no line in the cafeteria. You just rush up and tell the lady what you want, hoping she picks you and not one of the 35 others.
• Nothing is easy when your Chinese is 1/2 there
• Accents know no ends

I will try to post some more later, including my very friendly roommate and me. 再见:)

宗科