Returning to my regularly scheduled, highly polished broadcasts, I am on vacation. Which means I have infinitely more potential to land in ridiculous situations than usual. So far I have visited Lu Shan, the site where Mao strung Peng De Huai out to dry.

While Lu Shan is no longer a communist party hot spot, it can claim two superlatives: world's biggest tourist trap and world's most advanced cross walk signs. The tourist trap is run by the entire city and is specifically designed to skewer everyone. Are you an elderly Chinese and a big Mao fan? Take pictures of yourself sitting in the director's chair. Do you like picturesque landscapes? Buy the obscenely expensive 180 kuai entrance ticket (wait, everyone does that), hike down a mountain and then be forced to take a cable car up or die. Are you an ignorant foreigner? Have your two locals give you "the Tour" and have them lock your stuff in the trunk of their car. Then argue about the ever increasing price and have them ask, "where is your stuff again?"

The cross signs, though, are exciting. Oh yes, the little green man actually walks. And then walks faster, breaks stride, and finally becomes a little green blur. The light then turns red, implying imminent death (probable) if you weren't smart enough to follow the man's example.

On to Gui Lin tomorrow!